Thursday, 14 June 2012

Can I Hatez Wimmin?

I sincerely hope, if only so there appear to be four less utter...words fail the world, that this song and video are operating on several layers of very complex and thoughtful irony which I'm failing to appreciate.

It is nice to have hopeless and doomed thoughts.

Ladies, gentlemen, bots from Russia and beyond, if you were hitherto uninitiated I bring to you...Brokencyde. Watch it through bitten nails and shudder. Shudder.


The focus for today? What image are the band and their record label hoping to present about the featured artist? And how? (though 'why' is also a very pertinent question).

Question to consider: what sort of audience would watch this, listen to the lyrics and go 'oh, that's a good idea!'?

This post will use the phrase 'crude sexual boasts' rather repeatedly. Have done some internet research and cannot find anything to suggest this is in any way not meant to be taken seriously.

We are intended to look up to and aspire to be like Brokencyde. They have wealth, they have an array of natty hair-dos and wear what they want and look dead hard. They drink. They have a lot of sex (or think about having sex a lot), they are surrounded by scantily clad women and have a following of hangers-on willing to pop, lock, bounce and twirl along with them. They even have their own hand signal, like Batman but without any of the hidden darkness that makes his moral outrages understandable and Brokencydee's...not.

Predominant audience? Teenage heterosexual boys.


Range Rover, no licence plate - connotations of wealth.

Centre of shot hugging women in the boot - they are powerful and in control ans they are predominant in the framing of the shot and the use of proxemics, despite the bloke looking like he is probably about a foot shorter than the women he is hugging, indicate this is all about male power.

'Versace, Rolex watches' - conspicuous consumption is, for this band, their label and their audience, directly proportional to worth as a human being.

His 'grill' (no, it isn't a rude hand gesture, he is indicating his desire to replace his teeth with gold or platinum as if he is a Middle Ages merchant in need of securing his wealth securely in the absence of any form of trustworthy banking system) - conspicuous consumption again.

HA HA HA HA HA! BANDANNA! HA HA HA HA HA! He is one dangerous man who none of us want to mess with. Oh no. 1:30 and... somewhen else which I can't locate and can't watch this travesty again.


Band costume - urbanly outfitted du jour with bright colours, styles reminiscent of 'the street' - all utterly in keeping with what we might expect from this genre.

Dance routine including simulating crude sexual boasts and driving invisible cars. Again, adds to the performance element, ticking off boxes in terms of conventions being conformed to and giving the audience what they expect.

Bottles of hooch - a key image in lots of rap music, the consumption of strong liquor. Usually brand named.


Women here are objects to be ground against, like one might do in the club if one was particularly moronic, dressed in skimpy clothing and being called liars. The males in the band have the power, the women are objects. This is Male Gaze, though a very particular and specific form of male.

1:53 - deeply unsettling. Not just for the screaming in a woman's face for no discernible reason (cover that late) but the mimed strangulation is really just...wrong...

Love the woman's face at 2:00 in her sheer contempt for them and, hopefully, all they stand for.

The pig - could be there for light comic relief but is more likelty to be a symbol of Brokencyde's rampant sexuality and the dirtiness they perceive in anyone female.


'Sexy now'' - seems less like a literal representation of the actual words and some kind of sexual imperative once you've watched the video a couple of times. Also accompanied by the 'I shout at women' part. Shouting "liar" at every woman in the video, nice boys, not got issues at all.

'Messy girl' - crude sexual boast? A general attitude to women? The power to turn a verb into an adjective in a poorly constructed sentence?

'Pants off' - yeah, you tell those messy girls who you are insisting give you sexy now.

'Let's get freaky' - hey, at least it appears to be a suggestion!

'Bitches Get Stitches' on his t-shirt. Misogyny.


"Let's get messy girl"...means one of several things, each one as increasingly stomach churning a prospect as the former.

Swearing. Because it is big, hard and clever. Well, when Malcolm Tucker does it it is, when Brokencyde do it it is lamentable.

"You don't want me. Come and get me".

(i) likely (ii) so you can shout at her that she's a liar whilst pretending to strangle her and keeping her locked up in the boot of your Range Rover...tempting.

"I saw these shorties in the corner /they started making out / they pulled their panties down (the one in the 'Bitches Get Stitches' t-shirt seems particularly pleased with this as he gives it both a screamy 'yeah' AND a thumbs-up type gesture, good on the lad, nice to be happy) take their pants off / and then they started getting freaky on the dancefloor (this appears to make Stitches very upset as he now has to shout "liar" in the face of a lady). 

''cause I don't waste my time with lesbians"... 

...and're annoyed because you tried to pull a couple of gay women and that made you feel like less of a man? Or you are annoyed that you're not going to be able to 'convert' them? Ah, the end of the song, it is because he has been dumped and has decided to go on an all out bout of woman hating. Mature reaction there. What is deeply worrying about this, obvious things aside, is that a record company have gone 'yes, that's the one, we'll release that a single because there's a massive audience out there for this exact subject matter. Hey, I've got a great idea for the video? You, Stitches, do you like the power and dominance signified by the act of sexual strangulation?'

"baby we don't have to (ahem) / And bring your friend along, maybe we can have some fun." 

Like playing 'Risk'. Having established at least a level of homosexuality in the objects of your affection one does have to wonder why he'd pursue this course of action and then be so annoyed when his great conquest fails to occur. See, I don't think it ends up the way he wants it, but the song doesn't tell us, it just really heavily implies what he'd like us to think had happened, his ultimate triumph is forever...delayed.

"I got these bitches all tipsy trying to sex me / I know they want it, alcoholics are some sex freaks."

Neatly undermining his previous assertion that they did not, indeed, have to all have sex, presumably. Intrigued by the phrasing of them trying to 'sex him' for reasons the link will elucidate. Now, legally, where does intentionally getting people drunk so you can have sex with them fall? Fairly certain it has t least elements of what you need for a sexual assault charge. Or is it just poor grammar and he means 'I have got these...' as if he is currently in a stituation with some drunken women rather than he is the initiator of the drunkeness?


Need the lyrics written out for them to highlight essential stages of the narrative. In the club...on the dancefloor.

Aspirers maybe? What do you think?

My reading? Oppositional.


Started off thinking he was the 4th member of Brokencyde but am not convinced that at 1:15 - 1:18 it isn't just one of their weird uncles / that mate who really is in a world of their own who has insisted on coming along to show off his moves.


  1. cool story bro.

    In seriousness -

    Fake, but believable. Made me laugh anyway.

    As much as I hate this musically speaking and I know it is pseudo-serious, I have to say I love how they're essentially sticking up their middle fingers to all the idiots (sorry, "concerned parents") who waffle on about music corrupting kids etc..


    Whoever wrote that has just pulled a lot of it out of their -yeah- but it makes me laugh how people hate these guys in the same way I hate the likes of BVB/Nickelback etc..

    I've got to say that although I share your thoughts on the lyrics, it'd be hypocritical of me to bang on too much about them because of how much I love this -

    (Yes, I am aware that Jeffree Star needs a punch in the face but I have to admit his part on this is brilliant for all the wrong reasons...)

    1. " love how they're essentially sticking up their middle fingers to all the idiots (sorry, "concerned parents") who waffle on about music corrupting kids".

      Are they? Is there actually a level of misdirected intelligence at work here? Or is it more in a 'we're aiming to be as offensive as possible' way?

      That really long song title in the mothers against brokencyde jpeg would suggest it but I can't countenance it. If they were of a level of intelligence enough to do it, surely they'd actually put in some kind of knowing wink or have developed something a little less assaulting. The man in the bandanna really makes me want to think they are taking the mickey but for every piece of evidence there is making me think less harshly of them there's about 12 thinking they're absolute imbeciles and quite possibly evil. Just don't want to go all Daily Mail at them, though thinking they deserve it.

    2. They're doing it unintentionally which is what makes me laugh. I love the fact that this anti-Brokencyde thing (I refuse to use the ridiculous formatting) has gone away from "these guys are idiots, won't somebody think of the children?" into pretty much a manhunt.

      I wish they were just going out of their way to offend people (I love it when people do that; see the Jason Paige video I posted on my blog), but for now the fact people are getting up in arms about what is essentially just a bunch of yobs going on about what they want to do with women in the same uneducated manner as a great number of teenage males you may overhear when making use of public transport is pretty entertaining to me.

      I'm 99% sure that the stuff in the .jpg is fake (made purely for the "KILL BROKENCYDE AND THEIR FAMIRY" purposes), I just can't be bothered to Google it right now.

      To be honest the most offensive thing to me is how bad the music is. The fact they're trying to mix two different genres isn't an excuse for how terrible it is; Crush 40 & Cash Cash combined Johnny Gioeli's hard rock vocals with Alex Makhlouf's electronically processed stuff for their Sonic Boom cover and that sounds amazing.

    3. I know I kinda deserve that for the "cool story bro" response earlier :P

    4. :)

      Just posting smiley emoticons is both quite theraputic and makes me think of The Watchmen. Therefore, I humbly present you with a further :)

      It is raining. I am about to run round the school with Mr E armed only with a laptop and my balaclava.

    5. I am slightly worried.

      With "slightly" being an understatement.

    6. HEALTH AND SAFETY! You'd be more than worried if you saw how I managed to injure myself. Twice. In exactly the same way. Within 2 minutes of each other. Once I've put my lip sync video together (need to get behind the curtains in the hall when there isn't an exam on and do some filming hanging off the ladders) there is some wonderful footage of my inadvertently starting a fight with a chair and losing badly.

    7. I can't wait to see this :P

      Now you've upset the chair, the rest of his species are going to be out to get you, you know that right?

    8. Hence why all the chairs in the house are being regarded with the utmost scepticism.

    9. ...or suspicion, rather.

    10. Best be careful. Hear that little creak? That's the leg about to give way.

  2. In a previous post I said they were Australian. They are not. I apologise to Australians ever.

    They're from Albuquerque (a place most people in the world probably only know of because of this piece of Knew it had an 'A' and a 'u' in it'

    Think this quote is perfect from the LA Times

    "This 'Albucrazy'-based band has done for MySpace emo what some think Soulja Boy did for hip-hop: turn their career into a kind of macro-performance art that exists so far beyond the tropes of irony and sincerity that to ask 'are they kidding?' is like trying to peel an onion to get to a perceived central core that, in the end, does not exist and renders all attempts to reassemble the pieces futile."

  3. Oh and one band member is:

    Anthony Trujillo ("Antz") – backing vocals, fog machine

    How can Emo/Screamo/Cher-being-ANGRY have its own BEZ? That is appalling. But so too, probably, will be the Happy Mondays reformation